More than meets the eye

Hello, lovelies. :) I hope you all are doing marvelously!

So here’s what’s going on. I have about 8 tumblrs right now, all under “beautifulanddramaticirony”,
one of which you are following.
In the last few days, I have come to realize that I don’t like separating my life (aka my blogs) into sections.
I want to condense them all into one big, happy, beautiful blog that is all 100% me.
Things I like, things I am thinking, etc.
If you would like to follow this new blog, the url is: http://matathesiophobiac.tumblr.com/
It would mean the world to me if you all would continue on with me in this crazy mess we call life (via tumblr, of course).

I love you all so much! Thank you for being such wonderful people. <3

how often do we wish that we could go back in time? to change just that one thought.. one descision.. one action.. one moment.. one word.. one day.. one split second.. that changed your life forever? that made an impact on you? that ruined something? that started something? that wasted time that didn’t feel wasted until it was wasted? that altered something in you past the point of recognition? we can’t go back in time to fix it, but we can wish it would never have happened. to wish we could take it back. but, at the same time, to be glad that it happened. that’s what we have control over. and repeating it. we can control the second, or third, or fourth time. we know what’s coming. we know what’s in store. but do we care? does that change how we will act? we are only human. we make mistakes. and we should learn. but we don’t. sometimes we forget. sometimes we don’t care. sometimes we almost wish the same fate upon ourselves. then we wonder why it broke us down.. again. sometimes we disregard the outcome from before. thinking it will be different this time. flash notice.. it won’t. but hell, that’s what life is about. mistake after mistake. we must live by them. we must learn from them. we must remember them.♥

sometimes i’m not always what i seem.

i may appear confident, happy, self-loving, joyful.

but inside, i may feel self-conscious, depressed, self-critical, sad.

sometimes i just put on a good facade.

Sometimes change is what’s best, letting your heart break, and learning how to cope.

I wish I was a kid again, because skinned knees are easier to fix then broken hearts.

I’m not the type of girl that plans ahead for her future and knows exactly what she wants her life to be like. I’m the type of girl who lives every day to it’s fullest and happiest, because I never know which one will be my last. I live in the moment and do what I want to do because I never want to regret a missed opportunity or a wasted second. If I died tomorrow, I do not want to be dissappointed with how I spent my time. I want to remember my life as thrilling and happy and wonderful, not as planned and structured and content. So I don’t have anything against people who gear all of their time towards planning for college and careers, but that’s not what I want to do with myself. I want to do more than exist. I want to live.

17 pounds.

That’s my goal.

I want to lose 17 pounds before I go on my cruise in the spring.

I want to look skinny and beautiful.